Domestic Violence is a pattern of abusive behaviour through with a person seeks to control and dominate another person ⁽²⁾. Individuals who engage in abusive behaviours use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to claim power and control over their partner. They isolate their partner from friends and family to make sure they have no support and no one to turn to. The abuser may use blame, justification, and minimisation to make them feel like they are in some way responsible for the violence and abuse. It’s important to know that this is not true and that the abuser is solely responsible for the violence ⁽³⁾.

Sometimes it can be difficult to know whether you are actually in an abusive relationship. Possessiveness, put downs and jealousy, are more subtle ways that perpetrators exert power and control in relationships. The table below lists characteristics of both healthy and abusive relationships ⁽³⁾:

If you think that you may be in an abusive relationship, it is important to seek support. Talk to a relative, friend, counsellor, psychologist, or health professional about what you are experiencing as isolation is one way abusers maintain their power and control.

Call 000 if you feel you are in danger and have a safety plan in place to make sure that you know what to do if you feel that the situation is getting dangerous and out of control. You can also call DV Connect on 1800 811 811 to discuss your safety plan and access support.